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October 3rd I got…

Or should I say came home to… a fuck ton of bookmail.

Like, ten packages of straight bookmail.

No complaints.

It makes coming home from vacation somewhat tolerable.

Though it does make me look a little more psychotic with the books than normal, which is an obvious downside.

My mom was sad cause she got nothing basically and I got the whole world.

Bite Me – Christopher Moore

Was recommended this book at a recent writer’s conference, and the issue is, when I get recommended one book and it’s in a series, I end up just hoping the whole series is good and ordering all fifteen of its titles.

GOD I NEED HELP.

Description:

“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of that word.”
—Carl Hiassen

The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Bloodsucking Fiends – Christopher Moore

I’m kind of excited though because these books are perfect for Halloween. I can’t wait to snuggle up with them and watch Hotel Transylvania. 

Description:

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that’s where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door…and proceeds to rock Tommy’s life — and afterlife — in ways he never thought possible.

You Suck – Christopher Moore

This title… need I say more?

Description:

Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he’s ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he’s one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn’t supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy’s erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

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The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – Deborah Moggach

I love this movie. I just love love love it. And as you can see, I got the first edition because I FUCKING HATE MOVIE ADAPTION COVERS.

I’m surprised  by how bad the reviews are for this novel, you’d think they’d be amazing considering it made it’s way into movie form.

Description:

When Ravi Kapoor, an overworked London doctor, reaches the breaking point with his difficult father-in-law, he asks his wife: “Can’t we just send him away somewhere? Somewhere far, far away.” His prayer is seemingly answered when Ravi’s entrepreneurial cousin sets up a retirement home in India, hoping to re-create in Bangalore an elegant lost corner of England. Several retirees are enticed by the promise of indulgent living at a bargain price, but upon arriving, they are dismayed to find that restoration of the once sophisticated hotel has stalled, and that such amenities as water and electricity are . . . infrequent. But what their new life lacks in luxury, they come to find, it’s plentiful in adventure, stunning beauty, and unexpected love.

 

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